I've been incubating this poem for a long time... years, I think. The impulse I describe at the beginning was a real sensation that took place as I awoke each morning. I felt like someone, or something, was near me... breathing or sighing. I could hear it, but I could not sense it in any other way. It happened for a while, and then it didn't. I can't explain it more than that.
After a while the idea came to me that I'm working on in this poem. This week I decided to play with it again, and I sense it coming along. To be honest, I'm still changing a word here and there. But, I just read that Donald Hall would write and rewrite his poems 100 or more times... so who knows... maybe I'll start all over again.
Image by Comfreak from Pixabay
In My Dreaming
In my dreaming
just near morning
at the very cusp
of sleep
there are whispers
there are flutters
there is sighing
from the deep
There is stirring
in its passage
like waves lapping
on a beach...
Might this restlessness
this rhythm
hold some magic
in its reach?
Do these whispers
signal fervor
like a zephyr
in the gloom?
Could this cadence
be a poem
eager for its
words to bloom?
© Karen Eastlund
Join the Poetry Friday gang today at Kathryn Apel's blog...find it here. Kat lives in Australia and today she shares excellent poems about her interesting pets. Thanks for hosting, Kat.
How delightful, Karen. It for sure must be a budding poembloom!
ReplyDeleteYour question "Might this restlessness
ReplyDeletethis rhythm
hold some magic
in its reach?" begs for contemplation about the mystical aspects of dreaming and waking.
Karen, this is a beautiful poem. I hope you don't re-write it too much. There's a wonderful rhythm to it. And, what a great image of the sighing, breathing thing is a poem. I agree with Margaret's eye for the best line. That magic!
ReplyDeleteKaren, I liked the introduction to your poem. It seemed like a teaser. Incubating a poem is a wonderful process. Today, I started thinking over about my offering for a long time before actually writing.
ReplyDeleteHow fun to read this right after Michelle's falling asleep poem! What a pair. From what you wrote in the introduction, your poem describes what happened perfectly. I love the word zephyr, and that you imagined it a poem coming to you. Perhaps it was your muse?
ReplyDeleteNice, Karen! I'm so glad you listened and started writing this magic. The cadence is rich and fun to read, like these lovely lines:
ReplyDelete"There is stirring
in its passage
like waves lapping
on a beach..."
I love how poems offer a glimpse into another persons deep thoughts or dreams. I loved the lines "like a zephyr / in the gloom" Thank you for sharing.
ReplyDeleteYour poem reminds me of the stirring of possibility that come calling at random times. The notion of writing, pondering, distancing and rewriting are shared experiences Karen. Our words are not set in concrete it would seem...
ReplyDeleteKaren, this is lovely--if that first stanza stood alone, it's kind of gothic feeling. But then it twists and winds toward a poem of inspiration :>)
ReplyDelete