Friday, September 4, 2020

Blue Homage


I am delighted to be taking some online poetry lessons with Georgia Heard. Her first prompt was to begin a poem with "Give me back..." My draft is below.  I would be happy for your constructive input.

Only once in my life have I seen water look as it did the night described, and I didn't get a photo of it. Frankly, I haven't seen any images as stunning as what I describe in my poem. The photo below approaches it in color and horizontal orientation so I decided to share it. I hope it works for you.

water waves and light

photo by Dean Hebert

Blue Homage

 

Give me back those few seconds

Just at dusk

In our battered old canoe

My hand dipping into the cool water

The paddle rough in my palm

You in the stern

Setting the rhythm

 

The very last beam of daylight

Hovered over the dark water

Sprinkling it with needles of

Brilliant neon blue

Millions of ripples

Like saints before an altar

Glimmering fervently 

 

A stunning sight

A fleeting homage to the day

A splendor I cannot forget

 

If only you had seen it… 

 

© Karen Eastlund





Poetry Friday is hosted by Carol Varsalona today. Please click in at Beyond Literacy Link and follow the links for many wonderful poetic offerings.


Also, I think you'll enjoy my recent post, the first in series of family stories about my Grandpa Otto's Cafe.


https://kceastlund.blogspot.com/2020/09/velkommen-til-otto-evensons-cafe.html


8 comments:

  1. That picture is quite amazing, Karen, & the prompt that brought you to writing the poem is fun & your poem shows me some hints to imagine that awesome scene in now your mind's eye! I love that scene setting, "and dipping into the cool water
    The paddle rough in my palm
    You in the stern
    Setting the rhythm" & that you're writing with Georgia!

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  2. Enjoy your workshop. I think this photo is remarkable, so many colors! Your poem puts us there on the water, especially love the second verse. I just took a workshop with Georgia and Rebecca and found their suggestions for revision very helpful. Enjoy.

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  3. I love the image in your poem. Enjoy your workshop with Georgia. I took a couple of ones with her years ago and loved them.

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  4. Karen, first of all you may be full of joy for learning alongside Georgia. One of these days when I am settled in Virginia, I would love to do that. This line strikes me as inspirational: A fleeting homage to the day. Your poem is filled with gorgeous visuals like: "Sprinkling it with needles of/Brilliant neon blue." I think you are definitely on the right track with this poem.

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  5. This poem is lovely! I was trying to figure out the facts of what happened. To me, I'm assuming the narrator is thinking to someone who is gone, someone much loved. So was it a true memory in the first stanza, or is was she just imagining the other person there in the stern, as that person was already gone? OR was the person there, but just didn't take in the beauty of the moment in the same way the narrator did? Because so much rests on that surprising ending, as a reader, I want to know exactly what the assumed reality was and now what the real reality is once that ending is revealed. If that makes any sense!

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    1. Laura: Thank you for your question, I've been trying to decide if I should make that clearer. My husband was in the stern, but for some reason he did not see the water light up as I did. We had started back to our cabin, I didn't say anything when I saw the blue because I knew it would interrupt our rhythm and I was a little anxious about being on an unfamiliar lake so late. When we got back I asked, he had not seen it. How can I relay all that? I considered: Were you stargazing?

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  6. Breathtaking, Karen - the slow, peaceful canoe ride, "togetherness" - I can feel the water on my hand - above all, these lines strike me about the last of the light: "Like saints before an altar/Glimmering fervently." They capture the inherent holiness of light, time, creation, existence ... a 'be still and know' moment. Magnificently rendered.

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